Why social media sucks…

… for me. RIGHT now.

it may not tomorrow… we’ll see…

People are over reliant on the likes of FB and Twitter; in my humble opinion.
What I miss are emails, postcards, letters… what I miss is that intended connection. Reaching out to someone who you care about because you WANT to know what’s going on.
I hate *having* to stalk. I don’t want to stalk my friends. I want to hang out, I want to see my peeps, I don’t want to be creeping their interwebs.

So… a while ago, I emailed people who had been my nearest and dearest for a few years prior to my DD’s birth. My “sisters”. We camped, we drank, we slumber partied.. we cried, we hugged, we shared.
… evidently, when one of the gang breeds – it’s the end of the story RIGHT THERE.

… so… years went past, I muddled through raising my DD, I lost my father, I was alone (save for my husband and one or two dear friends who didn’t desert us).
I would send out emails asking for friends to come over for dinner, perhaps for a BBQ and a board game, perhaps camping together…

… the tumbleweeds? They were ferocious.

I would try IM – and I’d see that messages were delivered and read, and then ignored.
For 2 years, I beat my head off the brick wall of trying to retain these alleged “Friendships”.

… and nothing.

… so… 3 weeks ago, I started purging Facebook of these people. And it hurt. And I tried to be all ‘FCUK THEM!!!” about it… but no… it hurt. It hurt to finally “give up” on those people, it hurt like all crap. I realised that I had believed, I had hoped, for a movie ending – one effort, one email, one spark of “Hey, I miss you. Let’s hang out” to save the day.

… it never came. And I have to admit, I’ve lost those people as friends.

Which then leads me onto another side of why social media SUCKS.
LinkedIn allows you to see who has viewed your profile.
Back in the day I knew a girl, a lady… and we were “besties” almost – if grown people can have “besties”… and I haven’t seen her since 2006. I haven’t heard from her since 2007. I’ve tried… I’ve emailed, I’ve pinged… and I’ve been ignored. 15 years of friendship… gone. I dropped her a note when my DD was born, and another when my Dad died – and others in between.
I gave up in February 2010.

… until I logged into LinkedIn, on a whim, and see that she viewed my profile.


… so I messaged her…

… and I haven’t heard back.

Oh, the optimism. I thought for a moment there that she’d want to reconnect.

But no.


Poo to you, social media for getting my hopes up… for helping me believe in the bonds of friendship long after the dead horse has been flogged.


9 Responses to Why social media sucks…

  1. Naomi Mizon says:

    Ditto! True friends pick up where they left off but it’s heartbreak sifting through and working out who’s who. N xx

    • latomate74 says:

      Very true. And for years I diligently tried… and I have to say that the decision was 90% gut instinct. You KNOW who you can rely on – months or years down the line.

  2. Sonia says:

    It definitely does suck. I have been in your shoes more times than I can count. I have purged my FB a few times too. No need to have these people on my FB if they don’t bother replying to my emails or msgs or comments, but just to “creep” my FB page and see what I am up to without actually having to chat with me, then possibly gossip about me behind my back. Nope, I am done. Its hard letting go of people we were once close to, life goes on and we meet some good people in the meantime. I will always want to chat and hang out with you guys!!! Hopefully you guys will come over once it gets warmer so we can sit outside on my patio and BBQ, maybe start a fire in the firepit in my backyard and have some fun. I promise I wont make B eat s’mores but if you and your hubby want some, I will make sure to have some on hand! πŸ˜€

  3. amphora81 says:

    been there babe :(… this week in fact as you know.

    But despite being geographically challenged – i love ya and wont ever drop off the face of the earth on you.. (and if you do it to me? ill hunt you down).


  4. RebeccaJay says:

    I’m going to read this post much more thoroughly later, but what you’re saying is so true and I can definitely relate.

    I’m sorry your so-called friends treated you this way. I know we haven’t hung out in longer than I’d like to think about, but I’ve always respected you and your hon for being cool-ass, interesting, GOOD people. You definitely didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, least of all without an explanation.

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