Summer 2012 – Part II

(found this post hiding in DRAFTS)

… so, four weeks after Bass Lake, we headed to Saugeen Bluffs Conservation Area.

This Cons doesn’t have any online booking, no photos online of the campsite. So I completed the PDF form and emailed it, a day later a chap called and asked to confirm details and take my VISA credentials.
Then I asked about the site that would be reserved for us.
I explained that we have a 3-year-old daughter – so would prefer one NOT completely adjacent to any roads, that I would also like a more private site – after all, we are on vacation. The gentleman indicated that this wouldn’t be a problem, and gave me a site number.


… and there the fairytale ended.

When we rolled up to Saugeen Bluffs Cons on the Friday evening, we noticed a very large gathering on a campsite “Shit, I hope that’s not next door to us” … and then I checked the map. Merde.

So then I looked for our site.

I couldn’t find it.

We reversed and realised that the group of campers were using our site as a car park.


This was not boding well.

After gesticulations, they moved their cars, and we surveyed our “Large, private, not-near-a-road, site”.

It was the anti-campsite.
It was tiny.
There wasn’t a picnic table (guess who was “borrowing” it, and never returned it).
It was COMPLETELY adjacent to the road.
… and there was 20 people gather on ONE site opposite us.


We set up, and then hightailed it out of there into Port Elgin (which wasn’t what I expected to be – was slightly disappointed).

We came back to the site, and lo… there was MORE of them.
Why are these cretins not in GROUP camping?!?!?!?

I went for a wander to find the drop’n’plops and realised that the rest of the tent camping? Was EMPTY. Why didn’t they put the Yahoos up here?
Wait! Lookit THAT site?!?!? It’s perfect! Off the road, larger, has a picnic bench.
Dammit. The kid is already in bed.


The Ranger did his rounds, and asked them “Why are there so many of you on one site?” Foghorn explained that they’re actually from 6 other sites. Yes. SIX SITES worth of people, in total, on ONE site – directly opposite us. Including kids.

I heard the same Helen Keller joke twice.
I heard the story about the raccoons, twice.
And that one time they were a Bingemans.
And how they had a LLLLOOONNNGGGG drive from Mississauga…

I heard Foghorn boast about how he’s not one of them “city folk” and is an experienced camper – and then he argued about whether or not raccoons can or cannot climb trees.
Oh the jokes… they were hilarious *sarcasm* And they kept coming until 3am. Foghorn BOOMING; other friends competing to be heard; at one point, they made jiffypop popcorn over the fire – I believe that happened around 1:30AM… The classic rock was played until Husband finally left the tent at 2AM to tell them to turn it down.
Oh, they turned the music down, but not themselves.
I remember hearing Husband’s watch *beep* for 3am, I don’t remember 4am.

I do remember having passive-aggressive dreams of letting the kid run riot in the morning and waking them up.
Imagine my delight when THEY woke *ME* up at 7am.


And then we heard the thunder.
And we decided to stay in the tent.

The storm rolled past us, but now we were awake, it was wet out – we have no picnic table – we’re going out for breakfast. I am NOT squatting in the wet dirt with my camp stove trying to make pancakes and coffee.


We found a wee place outside Burgoyne, where the waiting staff were as old as the hills – clearly working to help out each other, it was endearing.
The auld dear asked Bean what she would like to drink. Bean clearly replied “Orange Juice, please” and the Auld Dear said “Chocolate Milk, absolutely” … O___O … “Uh, no ma’am, my daughter asked for orange juice” … “Oh… yes… of course” … which then made me ponder how many kids just go straight for the chocolate milk that a waitress would just assume that chocolate milk is the beverage of choice for kids.

<<<< AND THIS IS WHERE THE STORY ENDS – this is a draft that I found 😛 >>>>

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